It might be an insecurity

Fear isn’t something we want to feel if we can help it, except we do feel it. We feel it when we don’t know what to expect. It sneaks into our minds when we’re trying something new, and it wiggles into our guts when we have no control over a situation. At night, while attempting to sleep, we entertain a plethora of worst-case scenarios on replay. It’s annoying.

From an evolutionary standpoint though, it makes sense. Those who assumed the worst when faced with an unknown situation had a better chance of surviving. …

Seriously, this is a sincere request

Below is a whole bunch of questions I’ve been wondering, and I’d like you to answer them.

Obviously, I’m not expecting you to answer all of them — although that would be awesome — just answer the ones that stand out to you. I understand it’s a big ask, you might feel vulnerable or completely averse to sharing your answers. Some of these questions may stir feelings of discomfort, others I hope, will spark moments of curiosity or wonder.

My thought is this little social experiment might also be an opportunity for you to check-in with yourself, open up to the abyss, or sift through the comments, and not feel so alone. …

Who are you to tell me how to live mine?

I’ve made friends and acquaintances with a variety of people in my life, as I’m sure you have, too. Some of them own guns, some have gardens, some look like me and some don’t. I have friends who enjoy a polyamorous lifestyle and others who can’t fathom the possibility. I have friends considered financially well off, and others who struggle to get by. I could continue but I think you get it.

The people in my life come in all shapes, sizes, and backgrounds. Despite how different they all are from each other, they’re all wonderful in their own ways.

Why do people care so much about what everyone else is doing, when their choices don’t impact anyone else’s life? Why do we make someone else’s life our business? …

We don’t know everything, but we do know this

Wouldn’t it be great if a user manual came out of the womb with us? Maybe then we could navigate life a little better. The complications that come with understanding a human mind is on par with our attempts to understand outer space. There’s a lot we know — like we have a useful ability to analyze our own thoughts and reflect on our behavior — but we also don’t know exactly how much we don’t know.

After all, when Christof Kock, Ph.D., President, and Chief Scientist at Allen Institutes for Brain Science, was asked how close we are to understanding our brain he…

Can we talk instead of argue?

As a kid who asked a lot of questions, it didn’t take long before I learned which topics of conversation were off-limits — especially in my grandparent’s house. Religion, politics, and race were at the top of the list. Later, other topics such as sex, death, and mental health were tacked on.

Of course, in terms of kid-friendly conversations, these topics made a certain amount of sense at the time. But as I grew older, this concept of off-limit topics confused me. So, I asked more questions, primarily, why not?

The answer I got the most was, to keep the peace. I was told there are some topics that aren’t worth talking about because neither person involved will ever change their mind, and most often, all it results in is a verbal brawl and potentially the end of a friendship. …

Overcoming one of our most conflicting habits

Self-sabotage isn’t always obvious, but it is always frustrating. We like to think we want to succeed, yet we can’t help but ruin our own chances at it. Why do we do it and how do we stop?

I self-sabotaged my way through my 20’s. It’s the primary reason I had to move home with my parents. Then I continued to sabotage myself even after moving home, I just didn’t realize it. Thankfully, one small change to my daily routine created a domino effect that led me to discover my bad habit. …

Do your job to find out

Worry invades my mind to warn me of threats headed my way throughout this thing we call Life. I feel justified in my panic. The knot in my stomach is a good thing. It proves I’m thinking of the future and what it means. Worrying is the right thing to do because it means I care. I’m a good person damn it!

…Right?

Why We Worry

Worrying is just like fear, curiosity, and our ability to form judgments. It’s hard-wired in us. Worrying makes us human. It played its role in helping mankind survive by contributing to our decision-making process.

Planning ahead allows us to recognize danger headed our way. Worrying then spurs us into action, either to prevent or soften the blow if/when the threat becomes imminent. …

Are you going to add to the darkness in the world, or are you going to contribute to the light?

When we pass a stranger on the street, we don’t see them as anything more than a potential threat instead of as a person with a story. More often we don’t see them at all because our own lives and problems blur our vision.

We have no idea who they are or what they’ve been through. What have they overcome? Who have they lost? What does their laugh sound like? Which topic of conversation makes their eyes light up? You’ll almost never know the answers to these questions.

Sometimes though, you will.

A Story of Personal Experience

Once upon a time, I was the manager of a hair salon. As such, part of my day was spent being friendly with customers and ensuring they left feeling good after their service. …